FindThatMeme - Meme Itvl Anonymous 06/22/22(Wed)21:36:25 No. 169991014 [Reply] >be 420 pounds fatass. -decide to lose weight. âºdon't want to become auschwitz with loose skin, so decide to lift heavy while dieting. âºread sticky. >find out that you need 1 gram of protein per pound of bodyweight per day. >"That seems rather high, but everyone here swears on this sticky... âºevery day force myself to reach 420 grams of protein. >only way is to chug 4-5 scoops of protein shakes and lots of meat. âºfeel bloated all the time but persevere. >one day get horrible diarrhea while lifting. âºshit myself during benchpress. >almost liquid shit. >my sphincter can do nothing to hold it. âºjust brown water. >while I struggle to hold the barbell and not drop in on my neck, I spray diarrhea EVERYWHERE. >the bench is covered. >the bag on the floor is covered. >even the bench and weights in front of me are casualties of the brownpocalypse. squirting those gallons of brown protein juice is also very noisy. >entire gym staring incredulously. >in a panic to avoid the embarassment, l do the only thing I can think of. >I drop the barbell on my gut and pretend to faint. âºGENERAL PANIC. TIFF âºpretend to be unconscious while they lift the barbell off of me, call an ambulance, bring me to the floor. >one trainer attempts a cardiac massage. âºpeople yelling everywhere. >at least one person violently retching. >(hope it's not the cute redhead cardio bunny) >pretend to wake up only once I'm in the hospital. >they keep me in observation for a day. âºfeed me only jelly and chicken breast (not nearly enough to reach my protein goal). >they weigh me before letting me go home with a $6k bill. >be 410 pounds fatass. âºSUCCESS.BMP

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Itvl Anonymous 06/22/22(Wed)21:36:25 No. 169991014 [Reply] >be 420 pounds fatass. -decide to lose weight. âºdon't want to become auschwitz with loose skin, so decide to lift heavy while dieting. âºread sticky. >find out that you need 1 gram of protein per pound of bodyweight per day. >"That seems rather high, but everyone here swears on this sticky... âºevery day force myself to reach 420 grams of protein. >only way is to chug 4-5 scoops of protein shakes and lots of meat. âºfeel bloated all the time but persevere. >one day get horrible diarrhea while lifting. âºshit myself during benchpress. >almost liquid shit. >my sphincter can do nothing to hold it. âºjust brown water. >while I struggle to hold the barbell and not drop in on my neck, I spray diarrhea EVERYWHERE. >the bench is covered. >the bag on the floor is covered. >even the bench and weights in front of me are casualties of the brownpocalypse. squirting those gallons of brown protein juice is also very noisy. >entire gym staring incredulously. >in a panic to avoid the embarassment, l do the only thing I can think of. >I drop the barbell on my gut and pretend to faint. âºGENERAL PANIC. TIFF âºpretend to be unconscious while they lift the barbell off of me, call an ambulance, bring me to the floor. >one trainer attempts a cardiac massage. âºpeople yelling everywhere. >at least one person violently retching. >(hope it's not the cute redhead cardio bunny) >pretend to wake up only once I'm in the hospital. >they keep me in observation for a day. âºfeed me only jelly and chicken breast (not nearly enough to reach my protein goal). >they weigh me before letting me go home with a $6k bill. >be 410 pounds fatass. âºSUCCESS.BMP

Source: https://www.reddit.com/r/greentext/comments/vjvrt4/420_lb_fatass_woes/
Size: 74.1 KiB
MD5 Hash: 02937c04530fdde67537f9fa7d952942

Indexed 2 years ago